hi, I’m Lisa
CREATOR OF LILA MOVEMENT
I was born and raised in Northern California. In 2007 my husband and I relocated to Montana where we lived for 9 years before heading to Arizona in 2016, and then Florida in 2021.
In spring of 2023, life took a dramatic and painful turn (more on that below)— I sold all of our furniture and unnecessary belongings, moved back to Montana, and began learning to live in a completely new reality, one without a permanent home. This season of life has been about discovering my truth, deep healing, spiritual growth and rebuilding my life after profound loss. I am on one hell of a journey, following the nudges from my soul, traveling, exploring, grieving, dancing and living!
From my mid 20’s through my early 40’s I spent my life as an entrepreneur in the fitness and wellness space— personal training, gym ownership, wellness and lifestyle coaching, network marketing. I was very focused on serving others and placed my value in my ability to help create a desired outcome for someone else. It felt good to lead and feel needed, being “on” teaching and training feed my ego, I was very much operating from my masculine as a “lady boss”— it was an adrenaline rush, a high of sorts, for me to perform in this way. However, I found myself in a vicious cycle … hustle - burn out, hustle - adrenal fatigue, hustle - collapse. And while I was “doing personal development”, I had been unconsciously using my work, and being the “hero” in other peoples lives, as an avoidance technique. I was too busy helping everyone else and trying to reach the next level in business to face into the depths of my unprocessed pain and do the real inner work.
It wasn’t until I unexpectedly lost my husband Chris in 2023, and was thrust into a spiritual journey that forced me to let go of it all, the entire “I got this” persona I had built— gone. I was shown what was underneath all my armor, it was all a costume of protection— the strong, badass, resilient, independent, “do-it-all” woman. This is what was modeled to me by my badass, resilient single mom. I proudly wore these labels like badges of honor. There were many times my grittiness was helpful in business and in life, but most of the time (especially in my personal life), it kept me from fully opening my heart. I was guarded, operating in fear, and disconnected from my femininity— I attempted to control life and everything in it.
My husbands passing was an awakening and rebirth for me, it has completely transformed my life— my values, the way I live, my spirituality. I now find myself craving peace and solitude. I live a very slow paced life of quiet mornings, somatic movement, spacious travel and depth. I believe all of this was guiding me back to my feminine essence and preparing me to birth Lila, to deepen the potent love and connection between Chris and I, and ignite what has been my purpose all along— to share my love and passion for movement and music. Everyday, I am in a dance with the insatiable longing I feel for him and gratitude that our love led me here.
the birth of LILA MOVEMENT
In the early morning hours of April 30th, 2023 my entire world collapsed.
While I was away on a business trip, the love of my life, my best friend and husband of 18 years, didn’t wake up. He had passed away in his sleep. There I was, several states away, in a hotel room, in the fetal position, screaming, pacing, my heart ripped out of me, unable to comprehend how this could be my life. The words from the police officer who conducted the well check on him played in my head on repeat, “I’m so sorry Mrs. Lupo, your husband is deceased”. It felt like a massive emergency and yet, there was nothing I could do. For the first time in my life, there was a fire I had no tools for. The resilience I had been wearing like armor my entire life— shattered. The heartache was so intense, all I could do was surrender to the pain. There was no way out of this— I knew I had to walk through it, and so I did. I let go and allowed myself to be taken by the void, the darkness, the pain— what I now know as the portal of grief.
I’ve spent the past 2 years inside the waters of grief, learning to accept the loss of my person while also experiencing a loss self and the life I believed was mine. This experience led to a profound spiritual awakening which continues to transform my entire life and my relationship with death. My grief visits me everyday— I allow it, I honor it, I let it be expressed through me, through movement. What started as a way to survive this nightmare, became a movement practice, a spiritual connection to him, a deepening of our love and, it led me right to my divine purpose— The birth of Lila Movement.
Through somatic release my heart has opened and softened— I feel him guiding me. I experience moments of joy and aliveness that I never thought were possible in this new life after partner loss. My heart is full of love, purpose, life— and grief. This is my dance, this is my offering— to be with it all, to allow the heartache and joy to co-exist, and to lead others who are guided to this path. It is an initiation, a rite of passage, a sacred portal through the darkness, ripping us open and allowing the light to shine through our cracks.
“There is some strange intimacy between GRIEF and ALIVENESS, some sacred exchange between what seems UNBEARABLE and what is most exquisitely ALIVE”
— Francis Weller